Just for fun, look around you right now and imagine a group of zombies converging on your home or work. I assume you’ve got glass windows which, we all know, the zombies will come right through. So, think quick, do you fight? What have you got handy? You need an actual gun with bullets, or a really long sword, or something else long enough and sharp enough to skewer zombie brain without getting zombie fluids on yourself. Any luck? ‘Cause I got nada. Unless I suddenly develop the strength to rip 2 x 4s from the drywall, I’ve got a broom and a mop to fight with. I’m suddenly wishing I collected more sharp, pointy knick-knacks.
So I run. Usually to my car and speed away from the zombie horde, because unless you’re lucky enough to get attacked at the beginning of the apocalypse it will be a horde. The next question, and it’s a very good question is: where will you go?
Most of my family and friends are planning to go to the home of someone they know who has a lot of weapons. This seems like a good plan, but what I worry about more than weapons is food. Well, food and entertainment, because I’m not sure I can survive without my Kindle, my computer, and my phone, but that’s another blog post, one about technology, and this one’s about survival and zombies. Because zombies the dumbest, most primal of the supernatural villains and yet they are the most beloved, if the popularity of the Walking Dead is any indication. I’ll leave it to someone wiser to figure out what that means to society. Right now, I’m worried about food.
While the zombies are chomping brains, what will the survivors eat when our pantries are empty? Since I’m much better at killing plants than keeping them alive, I think I need to team up with someone who has gardening ability. Someone with lots of weapons and gardening ability. And we need to be somewhere with lots of land where we can garden without being attacked by zombies.
Assuming we can manage to grow vegetables, what will we do for meat? We’ll have to hunt or grow peanuts and legumes. So I now need to find a house with someone who owns a lot of weapons, knows how to garden and how to hunt. Oh, and we’re going to need someone who knows how to make flour from wheat, because really, what is life without bread? Then, we’re going to have to protect our weapons, our garden, our gardener, our miller, and ourselves not only from the hungry zombies, but from other hungry survivors.
To me, this sounds like a lot of work for very little reward. When I really consider the zombie apocalypse and who is having the most fun, I’m thinking it’s the zombies. So go back to that initial scenario where you’ve got moments before the zombies converge on you and really think about which side of the war you want to be on. Is it the survivors or the zombies?